


School Daze

by scrods



Series: School Daze [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 07:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrods/pseuds/scrods
Summary: Obligatory university AU.Akira meets a boy in his moral philosophy class and is instantly smitten.





	School Daze

**Author's Note:**

> this idea wouldn't leave me alone until I poured all of my free time into it over the last several days. and uh it turned into more of a behemoth than I expected. I've never written this much at once :o
> 
> anyway, I hope you enjoy!! I had a ton of fun writing this, and I hope it's a fun read!

Sometimes Akira didn’t know why he bothered with college. He’d be perfectly content to just live a quiet, peaceful life in a sleepy neighborhood, maybe open his own little café. Get a cat or five. What really was the point in making himself suffer just for a piece of paper, right? …Alright, it always came back to that whole higher-likelihood-of-financial-stability thing. But seriously, he really had to question what he was doing here sometimes.

Now was one of those times.

“Kurusu?” his professor called impatiently, probably not for the first time, snapping Akira out of his daydreams. _Shit, what did she ask me? God damn it, self, your tendency to zone out is really not doing me any favors…_

“Uh,” he started brilliantly and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

His professor let out a long-suffering sigh. Akira felt a little bad. But also, fuck professors who call on you out of nowhere. “I asked you to summarize the ‘rule of utility’ and tell me who the first philosopher to propose it was.”

Akira stared blankly for a moment and blinked. “Um. You know… the, uh, that one guy with the…” he coughed awkwardly. “…Yeah, I got nothing.”

Among a few titters around the classroom, his professor shot him an unamused look and turned her attention elsewhere. “Would anyone else be so kind as to explain it to us?” Her eyes landed on a raised hand and she nodded. “Ah, Akechi. Go ahead.”

“Of course,” came a smooth voice from the other end of the small lecture hall. Akira glanced over to find the source and his eyes landed on a shoulder-length brown head of hair. He craned his neck slightly to get a better look, but the student’s face was turned away and his hair was obscuring his profile a bit. Suddenly, he turned and gave the professor a disarming smile, and Akira’s gaze landed on delicate features and dark, shrewd eyes. “Jeremy Bentham—considered by many the father of the Utilitarianism school of thought—claimed that the only true intrinsic values were pain and pleasure. From this, he proposed the rule of utility, stating that what is ‘good’ is that which brings the greatest happiness to the greatest number of people.”

“Excellent. Did you get that, Kurusu?” the professor asked, looking back at Akira again with a raised eyebrow.

“…Uh. Yep. All good,” Akira muttered after a moment, flashing a quick thumbs-up and successfully getting his teacher off his back and on with the lecture. Truthfully, he hadn’t really registered any of that. He was still staring distractedly at the other boy, more absorbed in the soft cadence of his voice than the smart-sounding words he was saying in it.

Just then, the boy— _Akechi_ —glanced over and locked eyes with Akira. Akira started, his eyes darting away and then quickly back again. The boy wore a sly, barely-there smile and his eyes twinkled with—smugness?—before directing his attention back to the front of the room.

Akira blinked again, still unable to look away. He felt warm. Who on earth was this fucking—genius supermodel boy with his shiny hair and big words? What the fuck? Was he wearing a sweater vest? Why did he look so good in it? What business did he have casually showing Akira up like he recited theories of moral philosophy in his sleep? He probably did. He probably wore that fucking sweater vest to sleep too.

Akira shook his head to snap himself out of his weird, vaguely-aroused reverie and tried to focus again for approximately 15 seconds before promptly giving up. How did he not notice this boy before? It was only a few classes into the semester, but Akechi would definitely be the type to catch his attention… Maybe it’s because he never paid attention in class. Oh, and there was that time he overslept and didn’t show up on only the second day. Whoops. Anyway, now that he had his attention Akira feared actually focusing on the lectures was never going to happen.

At the end of class, he slowly packed up his bag and eyed Akechi as he strode up to talk to the professor. Probably discussing something boring and intellectual. Whatever. Not like it mattered. Akira slung his bag over his shoulder and slipped out of the room, lost in thought and already looking forward to next class for all the wrong reasons.

**\--**

Next class, Akira deliberately sat closer to Akechi’s corner of the room. Like the teacher’s pet he was, Akechi sat at the front, but he also chose to stick to the far side of the room in his own little bubble away from most of the other students. Akira decided to start small and only migrate a few seats over. He didn’t want to scare him off this early.

Choosing a seat a couple rows behind with a nice vantage point of his new object of interest, Akira slumped into his seat and halfheartedly opened his notebook to a blank page that probably wouldn’t see any actual notes. Maybe he’d just spend the class drawing that delicate, sloped nose and those soft-looking tresses of light brown… Absentmindedly, he wondered what kind of shampoo Akechi used. Was he the type to splurge on a higher-end brand? He had to, with silky layers like those…

Akira absently realized that class had started when his teacher wrote the day’s topic on the board—Vigilantism. She began lecturing on the differing views on vigilante justice in moral theory and Akira listened half-interestedly. At least this was more stimulating than just memorizing the names of a bunch of old guys with opinions. Maybe an actual discussion on a real ethical dilemma would hold his interest more than dry theory could…

Sooner or later, the professor was asking the class to weigh in with their own opinions. Akira’s interest was captured when he saw Akechi raise his hand in his peripheral vision. _Of course. Such an overachiever._ Akira sat up, curious to hear what he had to say.

“Vigilante justice is often praised as heroic—the solution to a corrupt society that’s ignorant to the interests of the common people. But what kind of organized society would we have if everyone thought they could take the law into their own hands when it didn’t work in their favor? The only thing that would accomplish is chaos, no matter how noble the intentions.” Akechi stated firmly. _He speaks like an academic paper,_ Akira mused. _Such a snob... A pretty, smart, charming snob. Why does snobby look so good on him…_

“Very well said, Akechi. A common counter-argument against vigilantism. Would anyone like to respond to Akechi’s point?” the professor asked, her eyes sweeping the room. In a moment of impulsiveness, _because why think when you can just barrel into something headfirst_ , Akira raised his hand. His professor raised her eyebrows at the normally quiet slacker and motioned for him to go ahead.

“But the law all too often fails to properly apprehend the real criminals while constantly suppressing the voices of the common people, especially those who they know can’t fight back. What kind of organized society is _that_? If the law gets to blatantly ignore justice and act in its own interests, it’s hardly unwarranted for someone to step up and take matters into their own hands once in a while,” Akira insisted, not taking his eyes off Akechi.

Who, Akira noted with quiet glee, looked genuinely caught off guard. The boy wore a muted expression of shock on his typically composed face, but quickly recovered and turned bodily in his seat to face Akira with eyes lit up in interest. Rising to the challenge, Akechi retorted, “I agree that the law doesn’t always get it right. It’s a flawed system, unfortunately, and should be held responsible for its actions— after all, every individual deserves justice, and the oppressed certainly shouldn’t be held down and scapegoated by the those in power. But the law is there for a reason, and society ought to follow the rules set in place for its own protection. Once someone decides they’re above the law and acts out against it, more people start to get the same idea, and with no regulations holding them responsible society will inevitably descend into chaos. It’s just not safe for citizens to live in such a lawless climate.”

Akira felt himself sitting up and growing increasingly invested, shooting back, “Yes, theoretically that’s how the law _should_ operate. And I’m sure some people _would_ latch onto an excuse to take matters into their own hands just for their own selfish interests. But those in power are doing that same thing, and they’re allowed to get away with it. Abuse of power is way too commonplace not to fight against, even if that also runs the risk of people abusing it.”

Akechi’s stare held Akira’s intensely, sending an almost electric bolt of energy through him. “Whether or not it’s _deserved_ when all is said and done, the law must hold people responsible for breaking it, whether they like it or not. That’s just the foundation of a civilized society that’s maintained order throughout history.”

“But if we’re talking about it in a strictly moral sense, then you agree that it’s only fair for corrupt people to get what’s coming to them.”

“That’s not exactly what I said, and either way it depends on the situation. But moreover, if we’re only talking about it in a hypothetical sense then what basis does that have in real world circumstances? I’m only stating that if we’re going to live in this world governed by law, then we ought to follow it, broadly speaking.”

“Laws are only as moral as the minority of privileged people who wrote them are. They’re not always without bias.”

“And that certainly should be addressed in the criminal justice system, but as long as they remain as they are you _will_ be held responsible for breaking them.”

Somewhere in the room someone cleared their throat. Both boys ignored it.

“Maybe sometimes it’s worth it. Societal change doesn’t happen without direct action.”

“But then how do you objectively judge what’s ‘moral’ from situation to situation? Law functions on objective standards and the assumption that everyone be held equally responsible. Nothing would get done if laws were written in vague terms like ‘sometimes’ and ‘maybe.’ How do you expect to prescribe morality in a broader sense?”

 “No, that’s not the point, what I’m saying is—”

The voice cleared their throat again, much louder this time. “Boys.” Akira and Akechi glanced over to their professor in unison. “I’m thrilled that you’re taking this opportunity to discuss the issue so passionately, but why don’t we give some others a chance to answer as well?”

The two paused for a heavy second before glancing back over to each other. Akira blinked. Akechi cleared his throat, breaking the spell, and turned back around towards the front of the room with a sharp nod. Akira sheepishly sank back in his seat as well and turned back to his professor as the class discussion continued. Unable to look away for more than a few seconds, Akira’s eyes surreptitiously darted back to Akechi again.

To his surprise, Akechi was already staring back with an unreadable expression, looking lost in thought. Akira’s heart jumped into his throat and he felt his face heat up self-consciously at the same time as Akechi started, also appearing to realize he’d been caught. Akira decided to chance a small, crooked smile at him to diffuse the tension. To his surprise, Akechi shot back a coy one of his own and Akira’s stomach fluttered violently. _Ah_ … Feeling himself blush, Akira ducked his head and reached up to fidget with his long bangs as he averted his gaze elsewhere. He was burning with curiosity, but refused to give in and look back over for the rest of class.

Not much later, the professor dismissed the class and students began to shuffle out of the lecture hall. Akira felt his pulse pick up as he finally let himself look back over at Akechi, who thankfully was distracted with packing up his bag. Absentmindedly putting his own notebook away, Akira took the opportunity to stare openly, watching how Akechi’s lashes brushed his cheek as he looked down. Akira could just make out a smattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. _Cute…!_ , his internal voice whimpered.

While Akira was lost in his observation, Akechi glanced back up and caught his gaze. Akira’s heart skipped another beat. Akechi smiled, and suddenly—was he… coming over here? _Oh shit oh shit oh shit what is he doing I’m not ready_ _what if he hates me and just wanted to get the last word in so he’s coming over to spit in my face and tell me to go fuck myself—_

“Hi,” came that smooth voice, cutting into Akira’s panicked internal monologue. And—Akechi was like two feet away and looking right at him with amusement dancing in his eyes.

Akira struggled to keep his expression schooled into something appropriately chill and indifferent. “Hey.”

“So… some discussion we had back there, huh?” Akechi’s grin spread wider and he tilted his head.

Akira laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling considerably shyer than just minutes ago when he and Akechi were caught in their impassioned battle of wits. “Yeah… sure was.” _What is he gonna say oh god—_

“I just wanted to come over and thank you for the stimulating conversation. It’s refreshing to talk with someone who’s not afraid to assert their opinion and back it up with a compelling argument.” _Wait—what?_ “It really was a fruitful debate… After all, to paraphrase Hegel, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis,” Akechi laughed lightly, eyes still fixed intently on Akira.

 _God, does he actually expect me to get that reference or is he just being a show-off? …Probably just being a show-off._ _And yet somehow it’s still endearing… Christ, Akira, get it together and tone down your thirst for one goddamn second._ “Oh,” Akira said, not sure what else to say. His ability to think was significantly impaired with the presence of a literal angel right in front of him and eyeing him like that—

“I’d love to talk again sometime. I think we could learn a lot from each other, don’t you agree?” he smiled dazzlingly. Sirens blared in Akira’s head. _DEFCON 5, S.O.S.—_  

“I—uh—I mean, yeah. Absolutely. I’d like that too… although, I think you could teach me a lot more about philosophy than I could ever teach you.” Akira chuckled softly, toeing the floor with nervous energy.

“Haha. Well, if you actually are interested, I do tutor for this class. My schedule doesn’t allow me to do that much of it, but I’m available for a few hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. You’re always welcome to come by the library and find me if you’d like.”

Akira looked up at that. “Really?” he asked, perhaps sounding a little too excited. He coughed and tried again. “That’s… I might actually take you up on that. I, uh… could use it.” _AND I’d have a perfectly good excuse to spend time with you and sit close together and stare at your freckles up close and… I’m getting ahead of myself._

Akechi seemed to perk up a little. “Oh, wonderful! I tend to be there from around 12 to 3. I might also be able to fit some time in on other days and weekends if you ask.”

“Cool, cool…” Akira did the quick mental math. He only had evening classes on those days, so it’d work out perfectly. _Hmm, today’s Thursday… Would it seem too eager if I showed up at exactly 12 on Monday? ...Probably. Ugh, but I don’t want to wait…_ “That works out well for me, so I’ll probably swing by soon in that case.” _Like_ , _really soon_.

Akechi nodded. “Perfect. Well… it’s been lovely talking with you, but unfortunately I’ve got to get to my next class now. I look forward to speaking again, um… Kurusu, was it?” he asked, touching his chin and cocking his head adorably. _He remembered??? Oh my god he remembered. The professor’s barely said my name, considering I never really participate… Maybe he just has a really good memory. It probably doesn’t mean anything… Oh man, but I want it to._

“Yeah… And you’re… Akechi?” he asked, acting like he didn’t already have it committed to memory.

“Right! Well… see you around, Kurusu-san.” Akira nodded, and with one last devastating smile Akechi turned and walked out of the room. After a moment, Akira slowly shuffled out as well, mind and heart racing ridiculously.

 _I’m in too deep already… there’s no way I’m going to be able to focus on philosophy with him sitting next to me, he’s just too damn pretty…_ Akira sighed. _I’m so screwed… Oh well._

**\--**

After an impatient few days of waiting and being unable to think of much else, Akira arrived at the library with a nervous pit in his stomach. Climbing the stairs up to the second floor where the tutoring center was located, he tugged at his hair and anxiously rehearsed what he’d say if Akechi pointed out how embarrassingly soon he’d decided to show up to meet with him. _I mean… I can plausibly claim I’m just that worried about my grade. It’s not like it’s not probably in the toilet already. Psh, overeager and infatuated? Me? What do you mean? I’m just… like, really dedicated to my studies. Obviously._

Scanning the area as he approached, Akira kept his eyes peeled for Akechi. _Where is he?... I don’t see that stupidly beautiful face anywhere…_ and then his eyes landed on a familiar head of luxurious brown hair.

Except said head of hair was face down on the table and buried in an arm. He… was asleep. Completely passed out on top of his notes.

Akira stopped in his tracks. And just stared for a little bit. After a moment of mental radio static, he blinked and slowly approached the sleeping Akechi. He was in such a haphazard position, arms spread everywhere and literally face down on the table as if he’d lost a valiant struggle with consciousness and just collapsed in defeat.

Akira couldn’t hold back his sympathetic-but-also-really-amused grin. Poor guy… he looked like he needed the rest. Akira didn’t really want to wake him up…

An idea occurred to him then. Glancing at Akechi and determining he probably wouldn’t wake up anytime soon (boy was out _cold_ ), Akira headed back down the stairs to the first floor again. Connected to the library was a small café staffed by a single, bored-looking student. Approaching the counter, he ordered a small coffee and proceeded to grab a couple creamers and sugar packets. Stuffing them in his pockets, he hurried back up to the tutoring center.

Predictably, Akechi hadn’t moved, and Akira felt a smirk blooming across his face. Gently, so as not to wake him up, he set the coffee down a foot or so away from the boy and dug out the creamers and sugar, placing them down next to it. He paused for a moment, and then quietly turned to dig through his bag. Procuring a sticky note and a pen, he leaned on the table as he scrawled a quick message. _You looked like you needed the rest. Here’s something to help you out._ He stopped writing for a moment, biting the end of his pen thoughtfully as he considered. Deciding, _fuck it_ , he scrawled out his number neatly beneath the message and wrote his full name. He imagined adding a little heart or two and smiled at the thought, but ultimately decided that’d be a horrible idea. Standing up straight again, he secured the sticky note to the lid of the coffee and surveyed his work with a pleased nod. After taking one last indulgent look at Akechi, heart fluttering a little in his chest, he turned and snuck away from the scene. Now began the nervous waiting game of anticipating his text.

**\--**

Walking to class the next day, Akira smiled to himself as he thought of the previous day’s text conversation.

 

 **Akechi** (17:21)—Kurusu? Am I reaching the right number? This is Akechi.

 **Me** (17:22)—yeah! hey there.

 **Akechi** (17:26)—Kurusu-san, I can’t apologize enough for my embarrassing blunder earlier. I truly can’t believe I fell asleep during my tutoring hours…

 **Me** (17:28)—hey it’s totally alright dude, I really don’t mind. it’s not like we had a proper appointment set up or anything either so no worries

 **Akechi** (17:30)—Well, thank you… but it’s still totally unacceptable behavior on my part. I don’t even recall laying my head down or anything… You could have woken me up, though, I wouldn’t have minded at all!

 **Akechi** (17:31)—Regardless, I’m so sorry about that. Please let me know when we can make it up. I might have some other times besides Wednesday if that would work better for you.

 **Me** (17:32)—seriously don’t worry, you’re totally fine. and you really looked like you needed the sleep… haha

 **Me** (17:33)—anyway wednesday probably works fine for me but I’ll let you know if anything changes. we can talk more in class tomorrow too

 **Akechi** (17:35)—Of course. Thank you for being so forgiving… I’ll do my best to make it up to you! I’ll see you tomorrow then.

 **Me** (17:35)—sounds good :) talk to you then

 **Akechi** (17:38)—Oh, and I can’t believe I almost forgot—thank you for the coffee!! You shouldn’t have… but I’m very grateful.

 

Smoothing his dorky grin into a neutral expression, Akira entered the lecture hall and immediately began scanning for Akechi. As usual, he was seated in his little corner and bent over his notes. Steeling himself and taking a deep breath, Akira wandered over casually and stopped a few feet away from him. “Mind if I join you?” he asked with a tiny smile.

Akechi looked up with a start, raising his eyebrows when he saw Akira. “Oh! Yes, of course!” he said, gesturing vaguely around him.

Spotting an opportunity to tease him, Akira frowned pensively. “So you do mind? I see…” he hammed it up, making to turn around as Akechi’s eyes widened in horror and he scrambled to correct himself.

“Wait! No! I meant—”

“Kidding.” Akira broke into a grin, which only widened when Akechi froze and then promptly slumped back down with a pout.

“Ha. Hilarious.” He narrowed his eyes bitterly, still flustered. Akira could tell he didn’t really mind though, and so he laughed a little more at his expense (only increasing Akechi’s adorable little pout). Akira paused as he considered whether to leave a little bit of distance or go straight for the kill and sit next to him. Finally, opting for his golden rule— _fuck it_ —he flopped unceremoniously into the chair directly beside him.

Akechi seemed unused to the close proximity, immediately reaching a hand up to fiddle with his hair and avoiding eye contact. “Um—as I said yesterday, Kurusu-san, I’m so sorry about the tutoring session,” he apologized with a grimace. “I’m… rather embarrassed…”

Akira internally melted at Akechi’s nervous behavior and light blush. _Oh my god. So cute. Help_. “Like I said, it’s totally okay. Maybe I should bring you coffee every time…” he said with a coy smile, just to make Akechi wave his hands around and refuse profusely. He could tell he was going to have a lot of fun with this boy.

**\--**

Sure enough, that Wednesday Akira showed up at the library to a decidedly more conscious Akechi, who was all too eager to make up for the other day’s mistake. The two settled in as Akechi began reviewing the major topics discussed in previous classes. Akira did his best to pay attention and follow along, but it was difficult to do sitting so close to each other. He may have subtly scooted his chair a _little_ closer than strictly necessary, so it was really his own doing. Up close, he could observe the way Akechi’s hair fell over his shoulders as he gestured and bent over to mark things in Akira’s notes. Those _freckles_ , too… Plus, at close range he could really appreciate the delicate, pretty shape of his lips as they formed words that went right over Akira’s head. A couple of times, Akechi would have to call his name to snap him out of a daze, much to Akira’s embarrassment, but he tried to play it off as him just having a really poor attention span. Hopefully he wouldn’t catch on.

Over the next couple of weeks, Akira came to Akechi for tutoring a few more times, attempting to restrain himself but being unable to stay away for very long. He hoped he just came across as dedicated, if a bit slow to grasp concepts sometimes— and not hopelessly enamored with his tutor like he actually was. It’s not like it was _purely_ for his own visual pleasure, after all; once things started to click he found himself understanding the subject gradually more. This was thanks largely to Akechi, who had a way of explaining things and giving examples that just… made sense. He was somehow endlessly patient with Akira and seemed to instinctively know how to appeal to the way he thought. It certainly didn’t hurt that the two would inevitably get into playful verbal sparring matches about the material, keeping Akira engaged, if only to find ways to constantly antagonize him. “I’m starting to think you just disagree with whatever I say regardless of how you really feel,” Akechi called him out once, fighting a smile. And—yeah, it was true. He couldn’t help it. In fact, he tended to agree with Akechi on many topics or at least be able to see the merit in his arguments. He was clearly someone passionately concerned with justice, and he was unafraid to stand up for what he believed in… That was what made their conversations so interesting and fun.

 Akira admired his conviction and quick wit, and he couldn’t help but moon over him like a love-struck teenager. He just seemed to match Akira every step of the way, always meeting him with a new perspective that made Akira stop and think, more than anyone he’d ever talked to… And he was pretty sure the other boy felt the same. It’s like they were perfect complements… such different personalities, and yet two of a kind in how they thought. Akira wasn’t sure he’d ever connected with anyone before in such a way, and he found his infatuation only growing more by the day. The other boy was so hard to read though… He seemed to thoroughly enjoy spending time with Akira, too, but… was he interested in him _like that_?

In the midst of one tutoring session, Akira’s mind was predictably wandering way far from the topic, this time caught up in speculating on Akechi’s sexual preferences. _I wonder if he’s gay… like, I FEEL like he is, but is that my expert intuition or my own gay wishful thinking?... God, I wish I knew. …There’s no WAY he’s not, though, right? Hmm, I wonder what his type is…_

“Kurusu?”

Akira’s gaze snapped up from Akechi’s lips to his eyes. “…Sorry?”

Akechi let out a breathy laugh and rested his chin in his hand. “What is always on your mind that has you so thoroughly distracted?”

Akira felt himself flush and looked down, fiddling with his glasses in hopes that they’d obscure his face. “Sorry about that… Just, um—thinking about… the weekend.”

Akechi furrowed his brow. “It’s… only Monday, Kurusu.”

“…Never too early to start looking ahead though, right?”

Akechi laughed once again and shook his head at Akira. “Do you have exciting plans or something?”

“No, not yet at least…” Suddenly he perked up and attempted to seem casual as he threw out a, “Do you?”

Akechi paused. “Me? No, not that I can think of… besides studying and working on a particularly demanding essay I’ve been laboring over for weeks…” he sighed.

Akira’s heart jumped. This was his chance. “Oh… well… would you wanna, like… do something?” he asked, trying to seem indifferent either way. “With me. I mean.”

For a long moment, Akechi just stared at him blankly. “Oh—you mean like… studying? Or…”

Akira wanted to laugh. “Akechi… Is studying literally the only thing you do?”

Akechi’s curious expression morphed into an offended frown. “No! I—” he closed his mouth, opened it again, and closed it once more with a grumble as Akira snorted. “ _Anyway_ , why? …What did you have in mind?” he questioned Akira suspiciously.

“…I don’t know. Maybe just… you know, hanging out. I, uh, know a really good crepe place if you’re interested…” he trailed off uncertainly, rubbing the back of his neck as he began to doubt himself. Clearly the solution was to continue rambling awkwardly. “They also do normal pancakes… you can add in anything you want. Fruit, chocolate chips, candy…” He was staring down at his hands steadfastly now and trying to contain his blush.

“…Pancakes?” Akechi perked up subtly. “I, um, okay. I mean, sure, I’ll go.” Luckily, it seemed like Akira wasn’t the only one feeling unsure of himself. Akechi fidgeted, biting his lip and running his fingers through his bangs lightly. He didn’t seem to know how to handle the situation. He really didn’t get out much, did he? …Then again, Akira was no better.

His affirmation lifted Akira’s spirits considerably, and he tried not to smile too wide. _Be chill. You’re Cool and Composed Akira, not an excited dork with a crush… Yeah, right_. “Cool. Does Saturday work for you?”

Akechi took a moment to think before nodding decisively. “Saturday sounds good… Did you want to go for lunch?” he tilted his head and peered at Akira timidly. Oh god, he was adorable.

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” he answered with a smile. And with that, the two arranged a time and place to meet. After a moment of awkwardness where neither knew what to do from there, they decided to just wrap up their session for the day. With a little wave, Akira parted ways with Akechi and left the library with a spring in his step, entirely impatient for the coming weekend.

**\--**

The pancake date—if Akira could call it a date (and he would, if only in his head)—went swimmingly. The awkward energy they felt at the start slowly evaporated as they got their food and fell into lively conversation, for once about topics other than philosophy. Akira learned a lot about Akechi, savoring each new piece of information like he was savoring his ridiculous pancakes (chocolate chips, candy, AND cookie bits) (Akechi looked both sickened and impressed. Not that his were _so_ much healthier just because they had fruit added in with the rest of it).

Akechi lived alone in a tiny apartment just off campus. He wished he could get some kind of small pet, like a bird or reptile (“How about a cat?” “You really like cats, don’t you?... But yeah, they’re pretty nice…”), but didn’t have the time or money to devote the proper care to one. He cycled to school and occasionally around the city when he had the time. He loved sci-fi and fantasy, with a particular fondness for superheroes that showed through in his twinkling eyes and enthusiastic gesturing. Akira could not wrap his head around how utterly endearing this boy was.

He was different, outside of class and tutoring sessions. The confident smile he wore in class—the one that never quite reached his eyes—paled in comparison to the one he increasingly showed Akira in their time together. Every time his eyes crinkled up like that or he laughed—really laughed— at some dumb joke Akira told, it took his breath away. Very slowly, he was letting down his guard and showing Akira a different side of himself… a softer, more honest one. In turn, Akira felt his own defensive mask slipping as he worried less about hiding himself behind his nonchalant façade. He found himself teasing Akechi more and more, delighting in catching him off guard and making him sulk adorably.

They were slowly but surely becoming real friends beyond just philosophy study buddies and verbal sparring partners. It was sort of thrilling—and Akira sensed that Akechi felt it too. Neither boy seemed particularly used to it, clearly both more of lone wolves. But now that Akira had gotten a taste, it became like an addiction, and he had to stop himself from constantly texting Akechi to hang out or just chat (he still had to play it cool _a little_ ).

As they spent more time together, though, Akira couldn’t help but long for more. As happy as he was to have a real friend, he couldn’t just ignore his less-than-platonic feelings… especially with that face carved by the gods right in front of him, being so annoyingly _pretty_ all the time. It was impossible to tear his eyes away.

So, Akira decided resolutely, it was time to test the waters a bit. Let Operation Flirtation commence.

 

 “So,” Akira started while hanging out with Akechi one day at the small on-campus café.

Akechi looked up from the coffee he was pouring copious amounts of creamer and sugar into (Akira held back his smirk. Mr. Mature Intellectual was more of a kid with a sweet tooth than he’d ever admit.) and tilted his head at Akira curiously.

“How is that you’re probably the literal sole human on Earth to pull off sweater vests?” he asked nonchalantly, hiding the smile threatening his lips behind the rim of his coffee cup and watching closely.

Akechi stopped moving, staring at Akira and dropping the creamer onto the table. It spilled a tiny bit and he glanced down blankly before breaking out of his trance and wiping it up with a napkin hastily. Akira couldn’t hold back his smile anymore. “Um,” Akechi said.

“And not only do you pull it off, it looks _damn good_. I didn’t even know that was possible.” Akira was struggling to keep his voice even and detached.

Akechi was still staring, frozen. “I— what?” He looked desperately confused and a little panicked. Akira felt a little bad, but not as much as he did extremely entertained. _Akechi.exe has stopped working._ “What—are you making fun of me?” he accused suddenly with narrowed eyes.

Akira laughed and shook his head rapidly. “No! I mean it. Have you ever thought about being a model?”

Akechi looked utterly frazzled at this point. “What are you—god, Kurusu, I’ll never understand your sense of humor…”

“But I’m not joking! …You really could be a model. Like… really,” he insisted earnestly, leaning forward.

Akechi turned away and, to Akira’s _immense_ delight, flushed darkly. He ran a hand through his hair aggressively, unable to look anywhere near Akira. “Are you… _God_. You’re really… insufferable…”

Akira wore his own pleased blush and giant smile. “Maybe, but I’m no liar.” Akechi closed his eyes and sighed in frustration, and Akira only giggled.

After that day, he strategically starting slipping in “subtle” flirtations to their conversations, reveling in how easy it was to trip up this collected, unshakeable boy with only a couple of complimentary words.

“Hey… what shampoo do you use?”

“…I— _What_?”

“Just wondering how you keep your hair so soft and silky all the time… You know, for my own reference.” This was punctuated with a light touch to said silky tresses, and Akira gasped softly when he felt just how soft they were. _Shit_. It was even better than he imagined, and totally worth Akechi’s flinch and embarrassed groan as he swatted Akira’s hand away.

The effect these ministrations had on Akechi was not lost on Akira. When he wasn’t acting exasperated and annoyed (key word: acting), Akira could feel eyes on him when he was looking away. Sometimes he’d glance back up from his notes during tutoring and catch Akechi staring, zoned out. After which he’d abruptly look away and jump back into explaining some concept or another.

One day, after finding Akechi passed out over his notes again, Akira took the opportunity to wake him up by running his hands gently through his hair. Sitting there with his chin in his hand, he stared at Akechi’s peaceful face with open adoration as he let the silken layers fall through his fingers. After a minute, Akechi stirred and let out a soft sound, hitting Akira right in the heart. _Aaaaaahhhh oh my god_ —

“Mmm?” he slowly opened his eyes and his gaze landed on Akira’s grinning (love-struck) face. After a second of blank consideration, he jolted upright with wide eyes. “K-Kurusu?! What…” he looked around himself to get his bearings, understanding dawning on his face with a mortified blush. “Oh my god… Not again…” He then seemed to remember how he’d been roused from his sleep and whipped his head back to Akira. “You…”

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

Akechi buried his face in his hands and whimpered. Akira giggled.

“Tired?” he asked knowingly, taking in the bags under his eyes. As he got to know him, Akira started to see the cracks in Akechi’s mask more and more. The boy was clearly sleep-deprived as all hell and Akira doubted he was eating well or taking any kind of proper care of himself. As much as he could relate, the extent to which Akechi pushed himself was concerning. He wondered how he could get him to eat a proper meal and take a night off from studying for once…

“… Mmfh…” was Akechi’s muffled response from behind his hands.

“You should really try getting some actual sleep sometime.”

Akechi lowered his hands to shoot Akira a sour look. “You should try… shutting up… sometime,” he murmured weakly, making Akira laugh. “God, you always catch me at my worst…”

“Mm, don’t worry. It’s more endearing than anything.”

“ _Ugh_ , stop embarrassing me…”

“Aww, but it’s so fun.”

“You’re the worst.”

“You love it.”

“Fuck you.” (Akira’s heart fluttered. He loved when Akechi cursed. He should do it more often.)

“Like… right here, right now? Well, if you insist—”

“ _KURUSU_ —” Akechi flushed all the way to the tips of his ears.

“…You can just call me Akira, you know.”

That stopped him in his tracks and he looked up. “…What?”

“Come on, we’re friends, right? No need to be formal,” Akira grinned and pushed Akechi’s shoulder playfully.

Akechi’s blush only got worse as he averted his gaze. “…Oh… I see. Well… if you’d like me to.”

“I would.”

“… I don’t suppose that means you want to call me by my own given name,” Akechi muttered, rolling his eyes.

Akira’s heart leapt in his chest. He didn’t actually know Akechi’s given name. “…Only if you don’t mind,” he smiled playfully to mask his eagerness.

“…It—it’s fine… Um, it’s Goro,” he said shyly, eyes still averted.

Akira’s heart pounded as he screamed internally. “Goro…”

Said boy only flushed darker. “God, you really are embarrassing…”

Akira was pink-faced too, not even trying to hide his dorky grin. “I try.”

The boys continued on with their conversation, a new sense of intimacy hanging in the air and making their hearts work overtime.

 **\--**  

“Let me cook you a proper meal,” Akira insisted one day.

Akechi— _Goro_ — paused, looking up from his novel. The two were outside, sitting under a tree with their abandoned notes and textbooks around them. They’d attempted to study for a good twenty minutes or so before promptly giving up to just relax and enjoy the weather together. “What? Where did that come from?”

Akira shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seem like you’re probably severely lacking in a proper diet.”

“Hey! What does that mean?!” he demanded.

“Am I wrong?”

“…” Goro sighed and grumbled to himself under his breath.

“Thought so. Anyway, let me feed you. Believe it or not, I’m a pretty decent cook,” Akira bragged with a smug smile.

This made Goro put his book down and smile wryly. “Really? You seem like the instant-ramen-for-every-meal type.”

“Hey! I find that offensive. …Though to be honest, yeah, I am most of the time,” he admitted. “But! I have the _ability_ to properly cook when I want to!”

Goro laughed. “Well, that’s something I’d like to see… Fine. I suppose I’ll allow it,” he said airily.

Akira grinned. “Just you wait, Your Highness. I’m gonna knock your socks off. Uh… though, now that I think about it, my dorm room doesn’t actually have a kitchen…”

Goro snorted and rolled his eyes. “Smooth. Well… we could always use my apartment. Like I said, it’s right off campus and has a functional, if tiny, kitchen…”

Akira sat up. _Goro’s apartment?..._ “Hell yeah. Works for me,” he said, trying to contain his excitement at getting to see where the other boy lived. “Hmm… are you free tomorrow? I’d just need to pick up some ingredients and then I could swing by with everything.”

Goro took a moment to consider, hand to his chin. “I think I could… I’ll just have to make sure I get a lot done earlier in the day…”

Akira rolled his eyes fondly. “I’m gonna teach you to relax, you know that?”

“I don’t have time to relax!... I mean, not that I don’t know _how_ to,” he added defensively.

“Right. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, get excited! It’s gonna be great. Do you like curry?”

“Curry? Sure… just… not too spicy, okay?” he requested sheepishly.

 _Ah! An opportunity to tease him mercilessly._ “What’s the matter? Can’t take the heat?”

“That’s…! No, I just…” he flushed as Akira cackled at his expense. “Shut up!”

With that, they arranged a time and Akira started brainstorming, unable to wait for the next day.

**\--**

Akira showed up at the address Goro gave him the following evening with a bag of groceries and a smile.

After Goro opened the door for him, Akira’s eyes immediately started scanning as he stepped through the threshold and took off his shoes in the genkan.

It was a tiny place, as Goro had said. There was one main room that combined the kitchen and living room, and one small bedroom besides the bathroom.

It was an old building, a bit run down and lower-end, but still livable. Goro explained that there was a draft sometimes and the central air didn’t always work, but otherwise it was good enough for what he needed. Akira noticed with a bit of disappointment that there were no decorations or personal touches anywhere visible, hardly even evidence to suggest that someone lived here. He didn’t seem to have a lot of… stuff, so he supposed there wasn’t really much to keep straight. But he was so neat that it seemed he barely lived in his apartment at all.

“I know it’s not much. But I hope it’s comfortable enough. Make yourself at home,” Goro said. Akira wandered further into the apartment. Spotting the kitchen counter, he deposited the grocery bag down there and looked around the kitchen. It was small, but Akira could work with it. He smiled at Goro.

“Do you have a lot of cookware?” he asked, inspecting the cabinets and pulling open drawers.

“I have enough, I’m sure. Nothing too fancy though…”

“That’s fine, it looks like I have everything I need.” Akira pulled out the cookware required for the curry and went to unload the grocery bag.

From the corner of his eye, he felt Goro inspecting him with quiet interest. He combed back his smile as he got to work, reveling in the attention. He chopped up vegetables and stir-fried them with finesse, flipping them into the air and showing off a little as Goro settled in at the kitchen table to watch him, intrigue.

They bantered as Akira cooked and, occasionally, flirted with him. “If only I had a ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron,” he said at one point with a dramatic sigh, just to trip Goro up (it worked). Akira’s heart felt light as they continued talking and laughing.

When dinner was ready, Akira brought it out to the table and set it down proudly. “Ta-daaa!”

Goro smiled playfully. “Ooh… very impressive, Akira,” he said with a tiny clap. Akira’s stomach still flipped every time he said his name.

Settling in to eat together, they continued their conversation between bites as they dug in. “It’s… delicious,” Goro remarked in quiet wonder. “Where did you learn to cook like this?”

Akira preened at the praise, smiling coyly. “A magician never reveals his secrets, Goro.”

Goro scoffed grandly and rolled his eyes. “God. So arrogant. You truly are insufferable,” he complained, but couldn’t hide his smile. Akira laughed and winked audaciously at him, and Goro hid his face with a groan.

After they finished eating (and Goro had to repeatedly refuse seconds as Akira nagged him to eat more), Goro suggested they sit on the couch and watch TV. Well… he didn’t have an actual TV, but on his laptop. Akira accepted immediately, excited by the prospect of sitting close to him. They settled into the hard, uncomfortable couch (made comfier with a couple blankets Goro layered down on top of it) and Akira sat _juuuust_ on the edge of too-close-for-just-friends. Goro cleared his throat quietly and looked resolutely away from Akira as they got comfortable. Akira glanced at him surreptitiously from the corner of his eye. He could just make out the flushed tips of his ears and his heart leapt victoriously.

Goro pulled up a browser window and considered for a moment. After asking what Akira wanted to watch, Akira stole the laptop and pulled up the streaming website he used and returned the laptop to Goro’s lap so he could browse through. After a moment, Goro perked up when he scrolled over the American show Star Trek. He turned to Akira, who nodded with a smile before Goro even asked. He put it on, turning on the Japanese subtitles, and they settled in to watch.

Akira looked over occasionally and smiled when he saw Goro totally absorbed. Deliberating for a moment, he decided to move in slowly so as not to startle his prey. _Fuck it_ , he thought, and shamelessly pulled the ole’ just-stretching-and-oh-look-now-my-arm-is-on-the-couch-behind-you move. He wasn’t sure Goro was going to notice at first, so absorbed in the show, but sure enough he felt him freeze almost imperceptibly. Akira watched him in his peripherals and stole a glance in time to see the beautiful pink flush on Goro’s cheeks as he stared straight ahead at the laptop and held perfectly still. Smiling mischievously, Akira sighed and had the audacity to move in a little more and bring him arm closer to Goro’s back on the top of the couch. Goro froze up even more for a moment before suddenly just letting go and settling into the new position, face on fire. “Akira…” he said, so quietly Akira could barely hear him.

“Hmmmm?” he hummed innocently.

“Um—” he started quietly, at a loss for words.

“…Is this okay?” Akira asked with a playful smile, blush betraying his nerves.

Goro was silent for a second as the wheels visibly turned behind his head. After a second, he nodded, face still flaming.

Akira’s heart jumped yet again. This boy had such an _effect_ on him. “Good,” he smiled quietly. Goro laughed a little under his breath, nervous but pleased.

After a couple of episodes, Goro sighed and closed out of the show to the homepage of the streaming website. “We should probably stop for now… We still have class tomorrow morning, you know. And I still have some homework left…”

Akira pouted with a noise of protest. “Awwww, but I’m so much more fun than homework…” Goro snorted in response. “Not to mention _cuter_ , right?” he drawled, leaning closer into Goro’s personal space.

Goro shrunk into his shoulders. “Oh my god, _Akira_ , I swear—,” he complained, but flushed again in spite of himself, sinking into Akira’s hold just a little.

Akira smiled impossibly wider at him. “Isn’t this great.”

Goro laughed, letting out some of the tension in his shoulders. “ _God_.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you can just call me Akira.”

Goro barked out an incredulous laugh. “I can’t _fucking_ believe you.”

“You adore it. Just like you adore me.”

That was met with a pitiful whine and Goro’s face buried in his hands.

Akira laughed. “Sorry for teasing you all the time.”

“You’re not sorry at all,” came from behind hands.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Akira squeezed Goro’s shoulders in his grip. It was quiet for a long moment, both boys’ hearts beating fast in their chests. ~~~~

…Eventually, though, the peaceful moment had to be broken. Goro sighed and sat up in Akira’s hold. “Um… but I was serious about having to do homework,” he let out a laugh. “It’s getting late, and you should get back to your dorm too. I _know_ you haven’t done your reading for class tomorrow.”

Akira let out a drawn out groan. “ _I don’t wannaaaaaa_.”

“Too bad. Now get out of my house,” Goro said teasingly.

“Fiiiiiiiine, if you’re _that_ sick of me…” Akira sighed forlornly and stood up heavily from the couch, releasing Goro. Packing up his belongings, he threw a smile at Goro. “But, um, hey… Let’s do this again sometime. Like, soon,” he threw out a little awkwardly.

Goro ducked his head and smiled. “...That sounds good to me.” He looked back up at Akira shyly and tucked some hair behind his ear. _Cuuuuute!_

Akira bit his lip and smiled widely. “Cool. Well…” he turned toward the door. “As much as I hate to leave…”

“Right… Go do your homework, slacker.”

“Rude.”

“Uh huh. Bye now.”

“Bye, honey,” Akira sang and stepped into the hallway outside Goro’s apartment.

“Ugh. Go away.” Goro rolled his eyes and made to close the door. Before shutting it all the way, he gave Akira a coy smile from behind it. “…Night, darling.”

He shut the door in Akira’s face before he could respond.

 

Later, he received a text from his favorite (now-updated) contact.

 

 **Goro** (21:38)—Thank you for earlier. You were right… I needed a proper meal.

 **Goro** (21:41)—The curry was fantastic… and the company wasn’t so bad either.

 **Me** (21:43)— ;) :* :3

 **Goro** (21:44)—Don’t make me take it back.

 **Me** (21:44)— :’(  </3

 **\--**  

As Akira got to know Goro, he became better and better at reading him. It wasn’t an easy task—the boy knew how to mask what he was feeling, clearly honed from practice. Akira certainly understood hiding behind a mask, that being his primary defense mechanism as well. Goro, however… seemed like he kept a few hundred layers of armor around him at all times. It was like he had no idea how _not_ to, and it made Akira wonder uneasily what could’ve made him that way. He’d gotten the sense throughout their time together that Goro was essentially… alone, at least aside from Akira. And while he happy to know he could be someone special in his life, Goro just seemed so sullen when Akira would spot him from across the library or while walking into class. His disposition would turn around as soon as Akira joined him, and he knew the smiles he showed him had become much more genuine over time… but Goro seemed determined to mask all traces of his unhappiness. Akira was also increasingly aware of just how poor Goro’s eating and sleeping habits were, and he didn’t know how long Goro could possibly keep it all up before inevitably crashing. It made him anxious… but he didn’t know how best to reach out without Goro denying it and refusing any help. Akira wanted to bridge the gap and talk with him on a more personal level, but he felt he needed to approach it carefully with someone as guarded as Goro.

It all seemed in danger of boiling over, especially as Goro became more and more swamped with schoolwork and responsibilities. Unsurprisingly, he was the type to schedule a frankly ludicrous number of credits while taking on way too many other responsibilities on the side. Akira constantly asked him why he loved to torture himself so much, but Goro always brushed it off, citing things like his impending graduation next semester and needing to round out his resume. Akira doubted his resume wasn’t already insane, but supposed he couldn’t understand _overachiever problems_ like that. Regardless, he knew it wasn’t healthy, and it only renewed his promise to teach Goro to _relax_.

One day, Goro was mysteriously absent from their philosophy class—something that had never happened before. Akira figured he was the type to show up even if he was on his deathbed, so it rang an alarm bell in Akira’s head when the minutes stretched on with no sign of him. He shot him a quick text asking where he was, but as he continually checked his phone under the desk throughout class, he received no response.

Hours went by, and by evening Akira decided that texting him again was worth the risk of seeming like he was overreacting.

 

 **Me** (17:42)—hey I haven’t heard from you and wanted to check if everything was alright?

 

He didn’t get a response, and Akira tried to pass the time by staring at his notes and absorbing absolutely nothing he was reading. After what felt like ages and virtually no progress on his homework, his phone finally buzzed and he immediately scrambled to pick it up.

 

 **Akechi** (19:51)—No worries, everything’s fine

 

Akira stared at the message and squinted, trying to telepathically read how Goro was feeling, but as usual the boy refused to show his hand. He bit his lip, wondering how to respond.

 

 **Me** (19:53)—…are you sure? I don’t know if I believe you

 **Akechi** (20:01)—I don’t know why.

 **Akechi** (20:02)—You think too much, Akira. Please don’t worry about me.

 

Akira frowned. Goro wasn’t going to crack without some effort. For tonight, he decided to let it go… but he didn’t intend to give up that easily.

 

 **Me** (20:05)—I mean. im not gonna stop worrying about you

 **Me** (20:06)— but ok for tonight ill let you be

 **Me** (20:06)—text me whenevr ok. get some rest ;*

 

Goro never responded, and Akira couldn’t help but grow more concerned, impatient to talk to him the next day.

 

Akira swung by the library about 15 minutes before Goro’s shift was due to end the following day. Approaching the tutoring center, Akira’s eyes landed on him with a student. Clearly helping her with some kind of assignment, Goro looked fine upon first glance, but on closer inspection had visible bags under his eyes and looked… paler, or something. His smiles were particularly put-on today, Akira noted (quietly a little proud of the fact that he’d gotten so much better at reading him). After a few minutes, the girl stood up from her chair and began packing up her bag. Akira hung back until she had bidden Goro farewell and left, and then he slowly approached the table where the boy was sorting through his own bag. He waited for Goro to notice him, and after a moment, he glanced up with a tired expression before his eyes widened and he straightened up.

“A-Akira!”

“Hey,” he said, giving him a small smile.

“Um—I’m sorry, I’m actually just finishing up my shift for the day…” Goro started apologetically.

“No, no, I just… wanted to catch you before you left,” he admitted.

Goro paused and tilted his head. “Oh. Is… something wrong? You seem… unusually serious.” He furrowed his brow.

Akira smiled reassuringly. “Nah. Just wanted to see if you were free. Wanted to get coffee or anything.”

“Oh,” he perked up a little, but seemed a bit hesitant. He looked tired and strung-out, and Akira waited to be turned down. “Well… sure, I have some time,” he decided with a nod, surprising him.

“Cool,” he smiled, and Goro looked away but gave his own small smile. Together, they headed downstairs to the adjoining café. After getting their drinks and sitting down at a small table, Akira peered at him quietly, catching Goro off guard when he caught him looking.

“Uh… So…” Goro started quietly, running a hand through his hair. “How are you?”

“Okay… How are _you_?” Akira asked with intent, leaning closer.

Goro winced a little. “Um… I guess you’re really not going to let it go, huh?” he said with a strained laugh.

“Nope. Listen, Goro…” Akira started nervously, hand going to his own hair and twisting pieces between his fingers. “You… seem off and I’m just worried about you. I… want you to know that you can always be honest with me, okay? I want to be here for you. I just… care,” he said, getting progressively quieter. His heart was pounding and he knew he was blushing furiously. _Ugh. Shit._ He chanced a look up at Goro.

He was staring at Akira blankly, sitting very still. He blinked and flushed, opening his mouth and shutting it again. He turned away with a sigh, looking defeated. “I…” He seemed to be struggling with himself internally. Akira scooched his chair closer to Goro from across the table and lightly reached out, hovering a little before touching his shoulder lightly.

“Hey,” he said in a low tone. “It’s alright. I’m here.” He was quiet and close and gentle, and Goro stared at him with wide eyes before his expression slowly began to crack.

“I…” He closed his eyes and pulled at his bangs. “I’d rather not talk about it here... Can we go somewhere more private?” he asked in a small voice.

Akira nodded immediately. “How’s my room sound? It’s like a two-minute walk away.”

Goro nodded slowly, eyes cast down, and the boys got up to leave. 

 **\--**  

Letting them into his dorm room, Akira opened the door wide and held it open for Goro. Ducking in and visibly cataloging his surroundings, Goro slowly walked into the small room filled with just enough space for a twin-sized bed, desk, and dresser. It was a pretty typical old dorm room, but Akira had spruced it up a little with some stuff on the wall and a bunch of knick-knacks displayed along the top of the desk. Unlike Goro’s place, Akira’s was considerably more lived-in, and it showed in the stuff strewn about his desk, bed, and open closet (He didn’t even bother to feel ashamed. He knew who he was).

Goro stood there awkwardly before Akira walked over and flopped onto the bed, patting the space next to him. Gingerly climbing up and settling down on the thick duvet, his eyes stayed averted and down.

Akira scooched a bit closer, lightly knocking his knees with Goro. “So… what’s going on?” he asked quietly.

Goro was quiet for a long moment. “I… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. There’s… too much going on. And I just… feel like I’ve been drowning in it. The other night I feel like I just kind of broke, sitting there surrounded by work and so, so tired and practically driven out of my mind with stress.” Akira gently shifted closer, legs pressing up against Goro’s. “And I don’t know why it’s hitting me so hard now when… it’s always been like this, I’ve been super busy and overscheduled for years… I should be used to it and able to fucking _handle_ it by now but instead I can’t and—I feel like I’m losing my mind and it’s happening when graduation is _just_ in my reach and all I have to do is push on a little longer… But I’ve been doing this for such a long time and I’m just… _so_ worn out, and so unable to take any more and I just want to give up and quit completely but I _can’t_ and if I give up I’ve _failed_ and that is the one thing that can’t happen—” His voice was breaking now and he’d started breathing faster.

Akira’s pulse picked up and he quickly moved in a little closer still. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. Breathe with me.” Goro nodded distractedly and tried to slow his breathing to match Akira’s. “Do… Do you need space or can I touch you? …Do you want to squeeze my hand?” he offered quietly, trying to remain calm for Goro’s sake.

Goro looked blankly at Akira’s extended hand for a moment before reaching out and taking it with his own shaking one. He continued to breathe deeply with Akira for a moment before speaking again. “I just—um, I don’t know, I get really in my head about everything and just. Drive myself insane with these kinds of negative thought spirals. And everything just feels awful and hopeless and dark.” Goro sighed and Akira squeezed his hand. “I don’t know… it runs deeper than that, it’s complicated, but… Yeah…” he paused, closing his eyes with a pinched expression. “And… I get that my mind is just like this. And I know why… but it’s just gotten worse over time and now more than ever I just feel like everything’s closing in on me and I can’t do it anymore and I want to jump ship but I can’t.” He opened his eyes again. “And, oh my god, I’m rambling so much. Jesus Christ. I’m sorr—”

“Goro, hey, it’s fine. It’s totally fine. I told you I wanted you to talk to me. You can keep going as long as you need.” Akira placed his free hand on top of Goro’s hand that was squeezing his other.

“… Akira... God, nobody’s ever… _said_ these kinds of things to me before. I don’t know how you do it,” he laughed a little, shaking his head incredulously. “I’ve never had anyone… reach out and care like this. I admit I really don’t have experience with this, so… I guess I don’t really know how to react.”

Akira squeezed his hand again. He didn’t know what the right thing to say was, but was desperate to comfort him in some way. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “Take your time.”

Goro just looked at him in quiet bewilderment. “How are you so… I mean, I’ve never met someone so utterly patient and kind. It’s like you just… understand everything.” He glanced away with pink cheeks. “It’s, um, not really easy for me to open up… but with you, for some reason, I feel like I can… and even _want_ to just spill everything,” he said, voice quieter than ever.

Akira’s heart was in his throat feeling like it was going to burst. He squeezed Goro’s hand ever tighter. “I’m glad… I feel the same.” He paused a moment. “You’re… important to me, you know? I just want to be here for you in any way I can… Honestly, getting to be around you at all is enough for me.” Akira felt himself flush darker. God, it’s like his filter broke when he was with this boy.

Goro stared, face thoroughly red, before ducking his head and covering it partially with a hand. He let out a tiny laugh. “God, Akira… You really are killing me…” He rolled his eyes fondly at Akira’s self-satisfied grin. “But, um, seriously… If you want me to open up to you, then… I want you to as well.” He looked up at him shyly. _Fuck he’s so perfect..._ “I want to understand you and know what’s on your mind too, you know.”

Akira’s heart flipped. “…Okay. Yeah. I promise I’ll try too.”

Goro’s smile was small but tender. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

“And Goro… I promise everything is going to be okay. No matter what happens. You’re going to get through it… and… I want to be there be with you.” This, Akira couldn’t say without looking down and murmuring. On a glance up, though, he caught Goro blushing and looking at Akira with a watery smile. All the boy could do was nod in response and lean into Akira a little further.

 

After a several more minutes of idle conversation, Akira suggested that the clearly worn-out Goro get some rest, and together they made their way to the door. Wishing Goro goodnight, he reached out and gave his hand a quick squeeze before shutting the door with a coy smile (leaving an embarrassed Goro behind it). 

**\--**

More study sessions than Akira cared to count had prepared him for the cumulative philosophy final exam. Working with Goro had paid off—Akira’s grade had improved more than he ever expected it to (main goal being to just spend time with Goro himself).

…Maybe it was because he had incentive. During one of their study sessions, Akira was complaining theatrically about the material (as usual) when Goro paused a moment with his hand on his chin and before smiling mischievously. “How about I promise you a… reward, of-sorts, if you do well?” he said in a way too “innocent” tone.

Akira blinked. His interest was piqued. “…What kind of reward?”

Goro’s smile spread across his face and he peeked at Akira through his lashes coquettishly. With an exaggerated shrug, he said airily, “Oh, I don’t know. But I promise I’ll make it worth your while… I’ll make sure it’s something you’ve wanted for a long time.”

Akira’s eyebrows shot up. Was… Was _Goro_ seriously the one being an outrageous flirt for once? Akira couldn’t help but smile in wonder. “…Okay.” This prompted a smug smile of Goro’s own, and with that Akira returned back to work with renewed vigor.

 

The test had finally rolled around, and Akira filled it out with determination. He _felt_ like it went pretty well… but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Maybe even if he bombed it, Goro would reward him for effort…?

When their professor got around to handing the tests back at the end of the last class, Akira felt his pulse pick up. Goro got his back first, glancing at the score (aced it, of course) and turning to smile at Akira next to him. Akira congratulated him wryly, as if there was any doubt. Eventually, he got his own test back and turned it over to see the grade… a 90. _An A!_ Gaping at it, Akira felt Goro’s hair brush against his neck lightly as he peeked over his shoulder.

“Goro!” he waved the test around in his face obnoxiously. “Do you see that? An A. _An A!_ Ha!”

Goro glanced up and hid his smile. “Well, just barely an A, but yes.” His smile broke open fully then. “Kidding. Congratulations, Akira. I knew you could do it.” And while Akira knew he was trying to play it cool, he could sense his pride.

“I mean, it was thanks to you, you know.”

Goro shrugged and smiled. “It wasn’t all me. You’ve put in a good effort, especially lately. You deserve it.”

“Thanks… but hey. You didn’t forget your promise, right?”

From the look of recognition that crossed Goro’s face, Akira could tell he hadn’t. “Ah,” he chuckled. “That. I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.”

“Uh, can you blame me? That’s been my whole motivation, you know. And now it’s time for you to pay up.”

Goro looked away, hiding his face for a moment (but not before Akira saw the sweet blush cross his face). “Well… you’re right. You did earn it. Hmm… what are you doing later tonight? Would you like to have take-out or something at my place?”

Akira perked up. “Absolutely.”

 

Akira offered to pick up the take-out and brought it by promptly at the time they agreed on. As Goro let him inside the small apartment, he strode in with a cheeky “Honey, I’m home.” Goro predictably scoffed (but still looked a little flustered) at this.

As they got to eating, they talked and laughed about nothing in particular. Both of their days, some TV show, etc. Eventually though, as the conversation lulled, Akira decided it was time to address the elephant in the room.

“So,” he started innocuously, and immediately saw Goro tense up knowingly. Akira grinned and rested his chin in his hand. “About that reward.”

Goro winced a little, but smiled. “Uh, haha, yeah. Let’s, just, um… finish eating first, maybe.” Akira wondered if he was just stalling, but let it slide as he watched him push his food around on his plate nervously.

When they finished, they decided to move to the decidedly more comfortable (if still not very) couch, Goro looking more nervous and in his head with each minute. Akira watched him with a shy smile and waited for the boy to begin.

“Uh. So. When I proposed the whole ‘reward’ thing, I wasn’t really… considering how terrified I’d feel about it in the moment,” he laughed nervously, ducking his head and tugging hard at his bangs. Akira’s pulse picked up, desperately hoping he knew where this was going. “Ugh. How do people do this… I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Aww, but that would be such a waste of the delicious take-out we just ate,” Akira joked and moved closer to squeeze Goro’s shoulder. As he had hoped, the tension seemed to leave Goro’s body a bit as he breathed out a laugh.

“I’ll try my best not to, then. Haha, uh, but anyway. I…” he sighed, and then spoke again more quietly. “…God, I used to think I was good with words, until I met you. Now I turn into a babbling mess at _nothing_. I… don’t really trust myself to articulate it properly right now, so. I’m just going to act instead of speaking for once.”

With that, Goro took a deep breath and leaned in closer to Akira, giving him time to move back or protest. Akira’s heart thumped and he only moved closer in anticipation. Blushing to the tips of his ears, Goro looked into Akira’s eyes a couple inches away from his. Akira’s breath caught, heart giving a violent kick in his chest. Fluttering his eyes shut, Goro tilted his head closer and Akira mirrored him and let his own eyes slide closed.

When their lips touched, Akira let out a breath through his nose that he didn’t know he’d been holding. His heart was pounding wildly and his internal monologue went something along the lines of _AAAAAHHHHHHHH_ , but it just felt… right, and it made fireworks explode inside of him with happiness. Overcome with affection, he pressed his lips against Goro’s harder and _delighted_ in the dreamy sigh he pulled from the other. Their mouths moved together slowly, exploring the new territory and gradually finding their rhythm.

They pulled back after a long time, out of breath and flushed. Goro’s heavy-lidded gaze met Akira’s as he touched their foreheads together. Neither spoke for a minute, just looking at each other and letting the blissful moment stretch on as long as possible.

Akira spoke first, breaking the silence with a sigh. “Nice,” he whispered, grin stretching across his face when Goro snorted in response.

“I’d have to agree…” he said shyly, and they traded fond looks. “Akira… you said you… wanted to be with me through everything. And… I want to be with you, too. Does… does that sound okay?”

Akira let out a breath. “God, yes. More than okay.”

Goro laughed, trying to hide just how pleased he was to hear it. “So, um… congratulations. That’s your reward, I guess… Me.” He ducked his head with a bashful grin.

“Best reward ever,” Akira sighed, and leaned back in to continue what they started.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what u thought!! I typically don't write a lot of fic so pls be gentle lolol but I'd love to hear what you have to say.  
> I'm thinking of continuing this au, maybe revolving around Goro's graduation and the whole shit-storm that comes with that. I have a lot of ideas, so if you'd like to see that or have any suggestions for me pls leave them below!! 
> 
> hmu on twitter @scrodart! thanks so much for reading and I hope u enjoyed!! <3
> 
> /shyly disappears back into anonymity in a cloud of smoke


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